According to Stanley Coren, PhD, a dog’s intelligence is on par with a two-year-old human’s.  My dog is smarter than your baby.

“But Adequate,” the new parent exclaims, “your dog licks his ass!”

Yes, he does.  Can your baby do that?

“Seriously, Adequate,” you persist (shouldn’t somebody be vomiting on you right about now?), “my baby is VERY, advanced.”

Of [...]

And now, the first in an infinite-part, interactive series, “Lifestyles of the Adequately Parented.”

Each installment of this series will showcase the proctuct(s) of parenting philosophies that would be frowned upon today.  Then you, fellow members of the Institute for Adequate Parenting, get to decide—adequately parented, or not?  Cast your judgment on Facebook or AdequateParenting.com.

Romulus and [...]

Sweetheart, I think we should see other people.   We’ve had a great four years — yes, I know you’re six years old, honey.  Look how Mommy uses math!  It’s been a wonderful experience, but lately I feel like you use me as a way to escape the rest of the world, and that makes Mommy want [...]

Recently I read something that struck a chord with me:

Two doughnuts and a large coffee: $1.99.

Wow.

Six hundred calories and 250 milligrams of caffeine later,[1] something else caught my eye.  It was a posting on a mommy forum by a mother of twin toddlers.

She was feeling down.  She was feeling down about feeling down, and [...]

Dear Adequate:

I’ve noticed that on a lot of the mommy web forums, posters use ‘DH’ for dear husband (and DD and DS for their kids).  Is it okay if I start using ‘IH’ for ‘idiot husband’ when he does something especially boneheaded? I can see uses for ‘ID’ and ‘IS’ as well.

Sincerely, Aggravated With Acronyms

Dear [...]

Washington, DC: Today on the internet, one brave and persistent person spared countless children a lifetime of pain and neglect by speaking out against the pervasive and deadly practice of ceasing to hold children for longer than it takes to urinate.  Studies show that most Americans will cease to hold their child at some point, such [...]

“Thanks to this study, approved by the American Attachment Institute, Sidwell Board of Trustees, American Academy of Pediatrics, Harvard University, La Leche League, and other definitive authorities, parents may now take brief breaks from child enrichment,” said Important Child Care Expert Henrietta Hooplah, BFD.

Washington, DC: The National Institute of Standards for Nurturing today hailed a study [...]

Dear Adequate:

Is it okay that I have completely given up on cooking my kids’ real food? I realized that I have given my three kids frozen pizzas at least once a week for the past two months.  I feel like I am just repeating 5-7 easy meals that I throw together quickly. I’m feeling guilty about [...]

“The Skeptical OB” Amy Tuteur, MD’s recent article on breastfeeding in open Salon reads like a landmine in a nursing bra. She reviews and dismisses Bartick and Reinhold’s recent conclusion that if 90% of women breastfed, the U.S could save 900 infant’s lives and billions of dollars. According to Tuteur, who might or might [...]

It is possible to overestimate how much you love your child.

I know this because I have attended school assemblies.  It starts with the anxiety over whether you  should miss this one, evolves to self-congratulation for doing so, dips when you yet again fail to score a chair and are stuck leaning against a wall or peering [...]